On Sunday, October 20th I awoke at 7am to my phone ringing. Because my boys were not with me that morning, my inner parent quickly partnered with my inner studio director igniting a rapid stream of thoughts. Are my boys OK? Did a teacher not show up at the studio? Did I miss my class?
I sprang from bed and grabbed my phone, only to hear the familiar recording of the automated wake-up call service that all first-class-of-the-day teachers receive. That was the moment it really hit me; our studio no longer exists.
I was scheduled to lead the 8am Silent w/Music class that morning. I fell back into bed imagining the faces of all the students who might show up for that class. Then the faces of six years of service continued to pass through my mind, some looking worn and weary, others bright and shining as they reached the top of ‘those stairs’ and passed through our entrance. So many faces, so many stories, so many people continuously showing up with the willingness to learn something new about themselves. I immediately burst into tears. Then I began sobbing, wave after wave, continuing for what felt like close to an hour.
Without any notice, a surprise court order made Friday, October 18th our studio’s final day of classes and by sundown on Saturday, the space was an empty shell. Over two years of negotiations, lease agreements being made and broken, lawyers meetings, court appearances, studio updates and attempting to hold space for so many, it all came to a shocking halt. After spending close to half the studio’s history striving to land it safely and gently somewhere on firm ground, my emotional outpouring was exactly what I needed.
This new emptiness in me posed a very real question: Had I been taking this place for granted? I did possess a pre-existing expectation that the studio would always be there, despite my immense appreciation for it, yet is there a difference between the two?
As I laid there, I asked myself how many of these simple expectations of my life do I hold? Because they are expectations I must want them in some way because I continue to hold onto them. For that very reason it becomes vividly obvious to me the incredible abundance in my life. So many expectations; from the precious gift of waking up to see my sons the next morning to the simple act of rotating the handle of a faucet and having water come out. My gifts are everywhere, all the time. Being reminded of this, my tears became the end product of my emotional meter where now the needle kept bouncing back and forth between extreme grief and extreme gratitude.
Ask yourself how many expectations you have in your life, from the big ones to what may seem like the most insignificant. Then imagine them not being there--not for the purpose of creating fear of losing them, but to easily reflect the overflowing abundance in your life. Every person, every place, every experience is a sacred gift and holds a purpose in our lives of some sort, if not at least as a simple reminder of just how much we all have.
Is having an expectation the same as taking something for granted? While letting go of expectations may keep me more present, I now know that awareness of my expectations becomes my direct connection to gratitude and is an immediate reminder of the extent of my true wealth.
Hope to run into you soon at a local practice room,
Moksha hot yoga is a unique yoga series which combines the precision of therapeutic yoga and the foundations of traditional yoga in a specially heated room. The series is a cardiovascular workout that strengthens, tones and loosens the muscles, while calming the mind and reducing stress. The 'hot' in hot yoga allows for deep, safe stretching and promotes detoxification of the skin, blood and muscles through sweat.
Moksha 90 and 60 minute classes are suitable for all levels of ability, even ABSOLUTE beginners with limited flexibility! Our hot room is heated to 37C. In addition to our hot classes we offer some reduced heat classes.
If you browse through the site and find any questions unanswered, or if you'd like to speak to someone in person please give us a call - (416) 766 - YOGA.
Trade for Yoga
In the spirit of making yoga accessible to everyone, we are pleased to offer an energy exchange program to assist students who may not be able to afford yoga classes and who want to become a part of our community. It works like this... You volunteer four hours of your time per week helping to clean the studio (collect mats, vacuum, wash the floors, etc.) and in exchange you receive unlimited yoga classes. This can be a great way to get to know your teachers and participate more actively in the Moksha community!
We do require a minimum 3-month commitment to the position, and that applicants maintain a consistent practice at the studio. If you are interested in this program please write an informal letter telling a little bit about yourself, your experiences with yoga, and why you would like to participate in the program, fill out the application form and return by email to the Studio Manager. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to call or email.